The Origins of Open Eating

I remember the first time I realized just how big an impact food has on us emotionally and psychologically. Believe it or not- I was only about 4–5 years old. I know, you’re probably thinking… nobody is that aware at that age- and you’re right. I wasn’t aware at all. But I’ll tell you what happened and maybe you can relate. My older sister had been diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes and we were at a family function with a local support group for other diabetic kids. It seemed like all the food there was sweetened funny (it was… lots of sorbitol-based foods… which do seven thought differently). That was kind of disappointing. We were at a party for goodness sake- and the treats didn’t taste good at all. That’s what made me super aware of what was going on… I was trying to find an explanation for this atrocity. So then comes the education presentation, where parents of newly diagnosed kids got to learn about their new diets. Now, keep in mind, I’m only 4… so despite the fact that they were likely completely professional- but you know how the teacher sounds on Charlie Brown (gosh, dating myself)… the teacher sounds like WAH WAH WAH? That’s what I heard… something along the lines of WAH WAH WAH… sugar is bad… WAH WAH WAH. But it hit me like a rock. First, my food tasted weird, and now foods I loved were “Bad”.

I was 4, and I took it personally like I was sucker punched. I tried hard to be a good kid… but now my favorite foods were bad… did that make me bad? I wasn’t a bad person… So fast forward, I did have a normal childhood- I didn’t become completely obsessed and start on a crusade to prove myself or anything. My parents loved me and I even got to eat sugar periodically- but I certainly was keenly aware and observed people a little more closely- I observed behaviors around food, I observed reactions to food, and I wanted to try to understand why food perception creates such strong reactions. My best friend in high school developed anorexia- which was one of the most difficult experiences of my life (probably worse for her even), yet got me all the more entrenched in trying to understand the WHY behind food-related addictions and obsessiveness with the diet and weight loss industry.

I wanted to know WHY, the more people invested in trying to “eat right” in almost any context, so many people became SO frustrated, so anxious, and so volatile in eating habits. Yet, others could eat healthy foods alongside their chocolate chip cookies and be completely cool about it. What was I missing?

I was so interested in others’ relationships with food, I didn’t even pay attention to my own for a long time. Since my sister was diabetic, we didn’t have much in the way of real treats around the house, but once I got my driver’s license man, boy did I ever compensate. I don’t even want to get into the amount of candy, cookies, and fast food I ate. But I remember sitting down to lunch one day- it was fried chicken tenders, french fries, snickers, and a Dr. Pepper. And it hit me… All the food that I was eating was boring me. It all tasted the same. I kept eating and eating it because I had been deprived (oh woe is me), and who knows if I wouldn’t get it again? But when I thought about it… it finally hit me! What I was looking for, was something that tasted good, felt good, and truly satisfied me. Eating more of what I was eating wasn’t going to get me there… it all tasted the same. And for some reason, not a single restaurant could give me something new. So then I began to learn to cook. My mom taught me to get around the kitchen pretty well- we had our core 5 seasonings, onion powder, garlic powder, salt, pepper, and Lawry’s seasoning. That was pretty much it.

As I began to dive into more recipes, I kept seeing so many things I hadn’t had much exposure to actual onions, actual garlic, peppers of all kinds, squashes, and SO many things! I asked my mom why we don’t eat these things, and come to find out she doesn’t like them and it would make her sick to her stomach. Well, it didn’t make me sick. It opened a whole new world to me. Fruits and vegetables galore- so many flavors, and they were new, and they made me feel good, and yes, I still liked my chocolate chip cookies, but I didn’t need as many because I was loving my other food so much! Something had clicked. I’d found something, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. But ultimately, I’d found a way to break myself free from the stigma of ‘good’ foods and ‘bad’ foods, and the guilt and shame of eating the ‘bad’ foods so much.

Then one day, I was teaching swimming lessons at the local pool- and one of the kid’s moms mentioned she was a dietitian by profession. Wait… you mean there is a career all about eating food!?! Boom… changed my major from accounting to dietetics. Since then I’ve worked with countless clients- in hospitals, clinics, schools, private counseling, restaurants, and anywhere. I was able to get paid to study behavior in nutrition. I had struck gold. But with that came my biggest struggle. I knew my way around food… and I had made peace with it. But so many people I worked with were on my same journey- looking to resolve some sort of healthy balance with their food. But I hadn’t evaluated how I got there myself, so how could I teach others? I studied and practiced and gathered up every bit of experience I could trying to see what worked. What made that light bulb go on for my clients when they did get it? And then after a while- my light bulb went on.

My most successful clients were the ones driving the change. They were invested, and they worked with the suggestions I gave. Were they better clients? You could say that, but what I saw was not somebody who followed my suggestions better at all. What I saw was somebody who knew themselves. They knew who they were, they knew what they wanted, and they accepted that they didn’t know how to get there, so they sought out an expert. Now I know, many of you may be thinking, “I knew what I wanted, and I’ve sought out experts,” but those didn’t work. I’m getting to the punchline. These people embraced the role of being an expert themselves and brought that expertise to the table. We collaborated. I brought nutrition information, and they brought personal information. And together we devised a plan that they knew they could follow- at their pace, by their rules, and success was born.

Together we nurtured that success into nutritional expertise of their own where they could find that same peace and that same confidence in their eating habits, free of shame and guilt. The other key was that the focus was not on weight loss, calories, or numbers. We focused on behaviors, simple and healthy behaviors. With the focus on the behaviors, the weight loss, the reduced anxiety, and the increased energy levels, it all began to manifest in spades. It was SO cool! Once I learned this, I began to make this my “method” — I’ve coined it by this point… I call it Open Eating. I hope that as we continue this series on open eating I can inspire and help you on your journey to find confidence, balance, and peace in your approach to eating and your health. In time I’ll be releasing an entire course on this subject- super excited about that. But, for now, I’m content to share here with whoever is ready for a real shift in the way we approach our health:) Stay tuned!